ho trovato questo:

<OBJECT id ="QuickTimePlayer"
width ="256"
height ="160"
classid ="CLSID:02BF25D5-8C17-4B23-BC80-D3488ABDDC6B"
codebase ="http://www.apple.com/qtactivex/qtplugin.cab">
<PARAM name="SRC" value="img/filmato.mov">
<PARAM name="autoplay" value="false">
<PARAM name="loop" value="false">
<PARAM name="controller" VALUE="true">

<EMBED name ="EmbedQuickTimePlayer"
pluginspage ="http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/"
width ="256"
height ="160"
src ="img/filmato.mov"
autoplay ="false"
loop ="false"
controller ="true"
cache ="true"
kioskmode ="true" >
</EMBED>
</OBJECT>


credo che per il nostro problema il signor autoplay="false" ci dia una mano!
ciao a tutti e buon lavoro.