diciamo che al 99% ho appurato che il client sta a posto.
adesso nn arriva più nulla a prescindere da zeromemory:
codice:
int Server::initConnection() {
	cout << "SERVER STARTED. PRESS ENTER EXIT" << endl;
    WSADATA wsaData;
    sockaddr_in local;
    sockaddr_in from;
    int wsaret = WSAStartup(0x101, &wsaData);
    int fromlen = sizeof(from);

    local.sin_family = AF_INET; // ADDRESS FAMILY
    local.sin_addr.s_addr = INADDR_ANY; // WILD CARD IP ADDRESS
    local.sin_port = htons((u_short) 20248); // PORT
    server = socket(AF_INET, SOCK_STREAM, 0);

    while(true)
    {
        char temp[1024];
	char temp2[1024];
	ZeroMemory(temp2, 1024);
        inAscolto = accept(server, (struct sockaddr*) &from, &fromlen);
        sprintf_s(temp, "YOUR IP IS:  %s", inet_ntoa(from.sin_addr));
        send(inAscolto, temp, strlen(temp), 0);
        cout << "CONNECTION FROM: " << inet_ntoa(from.sin_addr) << endl;
	recv(inAscolto, temp2, sizeof(temp2), 0);
	cout << temp2 << endl;
    }

}