rieccomi,
a parte il checked ho risolto e posto il codice del form se servisse intanto a qualcuno:

codice HTML:
<form action="../pausa-pranzo-conferma-prenotazione" name="sceltamenu" method="post">
<input type="hidden" name="data" value="19/10/2014">
<input type="hidden" name="dataing" value="2014-10-19">
<input type="hidden" name="menu" value="BIANCO">
  <table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" id="prenotapasti" class="davidetabella">

<tr>
  <td width="20%">&nbsp;</td>
  <td width="20%"><b>Opzione 1</b></td>
  <td width="20%"><b>Opzione</b></td>
  <td width="20%"><b>Opzione</b></td>
  <td width="20%"><b>Opzione</b></td>
</tr>

<tr>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
</tr>
<tr>
  <td><b>MENU a e Euro 6,50</b></td>
  <td>primo1</td>
  <td>primo2</td>
  <td>primo3</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
</tr>
<tr>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>contorno1</td>
  <td>contorno2</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
</tr>
<tr>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
  <td>&nbsp;</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td>
<input name="m1" class="box" type="checkbox" value="" onClick="attiva(1)"><b>MENU a e Euro 6,50</b>
</td>
      <td colspan="4">
<p id="r1">
<input type="radio" class="sel" name="menubase_primo" value="RISO1" disabled>RISO1 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menubase_primo" value="RISO2" disabled>RISO2 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menubase_primo" value="RISO3" disabled>RISO3 
<br>
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menubase_contorno" value="PATATE1" disabled>PATATE1 
<input type="radio"class="sel"  id ="PATATE2" name="menubase_contorno" value="PATATE2" disabled>PATATE2 
</p>
</td>
</tr>
    <tr>
        <td colspan="5">
</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
        <td>&nbsp;</td>
        <td>&nbsp;</td>
        <td>&nbsp;</td>
        <td>&nbsp;</td>
        <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
<tr>
<td>
<input name="m2" class="box" type="checkbox" value="" onClick="attiva(2)"><b>MENU a e Euro 8,00</b>
</td>
<td colspan="4">
<p id="r2">
<input type="radio" class="sel" name="menumedio_secondo" value="POLLO1" disabled>POLLO1 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menumedio_secondo" value="POLLO2" disabled>POLLO2 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menumedio_secondo" value="POLLO3" disabled>POLLO3 
<br>
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menumedio_contorno" value="PATATE1" disabled>PATATE1 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menumedio_contorno" value="PATATE2" disabled>PATATE2 
</p>
</td>
</tr>







    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td></td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>

	  <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
<tr>
<td>
<input name="m3" class="box" type="checkbox" value="" onClick="attiva(3)"><b>MENU a e Euro 12,00</b>
</td>
<td colspan="4">
<p id="r3">
<input type="radio" class="sel" name="menucompleto_primo" value="RISO1" disabled>RISO1 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menucompleto_primo" value="RISO2" disabled>RISO2 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menucompleto_primo" value="RISO3" disabled>RISO3 
<br>
<input type="radio" class="sel" name="menucompleto_secondo" value="POLLO1" disabled>POLLO1 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menucompleto_secondo" value="POLLO2" disabled>POLLO2 
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menucompleto_secondo" value="POLLO3" disabled>POLLO3 
<br>
<input type="radio"class="sel" name="menucompleto_contorno" value="PATATE1" disabled>PATATE1 
<input type="radio"class="sel"  name="menucompleto_contorno" value="PATATE2" disabled>PATATE2 
</p>
</td>
</tr>

    <tr>
      <td colspan="5" align="right">
<input type="reset" name="reset" id="reset" value="&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Reset MENU&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"></td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>Scegli postazione tavolo*</td>
      <td>
              <input name="postoscelto" type="radio" value="interno" checked>interno (posti liberi 100)                <br>
                <input name="postoscelto" type="radio" value="esterno" unchecked>esterno (posti liberi 1000)        
      </td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td></td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>Inserisci il tuo nome*</td>
      <td colspan="2">
  <input name="nome" type="text" id="nome" placeholder='Inserisci il tuo  nome' value="" size="35" maxlength="35"><script type="text/javascript">
var nome = new LiveValidation('nome', { validMessage: "OK" });
nome.add(Validate.Presence, { failureMessage: "Obbligatorio" });
nome.add(Validate.Length,{ minimum: 2, maximum: 100 },{ failureMessage: "Consentiti minimo 2 e massimo 100 caratteri" });
</script>      </td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>Inserisci la tua mail*</td>
      <td colspan="2">
  <input name="mail" type="text" id="mail" placeholder='Inserisci la tua mail' value="" size="35" maxlength="50"><script type="text/javascript">
var mail = new LiveValidation('mail', { validMessage: "OK" });
mail.add(Validate.Presence, { failureMessage: "Obbligatorio" });
mail.add(Validate.Email, { failureMessage: "Mail non valida" } );
mail.add(Validate.Length,{ minimum: 2, maximum: 100 },{ failureMessage: "Consentiti minimo 2 e massimo 100 caratteri" });
</script>
      </td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>Inserisci il tuo telefono*</td>
      <td colspan="2">
  <input name="telefono" type="text" id="telefono" placeholder='Inserisci il tuo telefono' value="" size="35" maxlength="35"><script type="text/javascript">
var telefono = new LiveValidation('telefono', { validMessage: "OK" });
telefono.add(Validate.Presence, { failureMessage: "Obbligatorio" });
telefono.add(Validate.Length,{ minimum: 2, maximum: 30 },{ failureMessage: "Consentiti minimo 2 e massimo 30 caratteri" });
telefono.add(Validate.Numericality,{ NotAtNumberMessage:"Inserire solo numeri" });
</script>      </td>
      <td></td>
      <td>&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td colspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
      <td colspan="3" align="left">&nbsp;</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td colspan="5"></td>
    </tr><tr>
      <td colspan="5" align="center"><input type="submit" name="submit" id="submit" value="Visualizza riepilogo prenotazione"></td>

  </tr>
  </table>


<input type="hidden" name="tipoevento" value="PAUSAPRANZO">
<input type="hidden" name="primo1" value="RISO1">
<input type="hidden" name="primo2" value="RISO2">
<input type="hidden" name="primo3" value="RISO3">
<input type="hidden" name="secondo1" value="POLLO1">
<input type="hidden" name="secondo2" value="POLLO2">
<input type="hidden" name="secondo3" value="POLLO3">
<input type="hidden" name="contorno1" value="PATATE1">
<input type="hidden" name="contorno2" value="PATATE2">
</form>

il tutto mi funziona solo se il tag id al suo interno non racchiude tag <tr> o <td> e quindi i piatti non mi si incolonnano dove vorrei..ma sono uno di seguito all' altro
scusate forse mi sto perdendo in un bicchier d' acqua ma sono 3 gg che sto incollato a sta pagina
tks!!