Allora raga, ci sono riuscito, la soluzione nn è una delle + eleganti ma funziona cmq. posto il codice così se qualcuno ha qualche idea per migliorarlo me lo faccia sapere.

codice:
'Nella FORM
Private Sub Timer1_Timer()
EnumWindows AddressOf EnumWindowsProc, ByVal 0&
    For Index2 = 0 To List1.ListCount - 1
        EnumChildWindows List1.List(Index2), AddressOf EnumChildProc, ByVal 0&
    Next Index2
End Sub

'NEL MODULO

Const TB_DELETEBUTTON = 1046
Const TB_BUTTONCOUNT = 1048
Const TB_GETBUTTONTEXT = 1069

Declare Function GetWindowText Lib "user32" Alias "GetWindowTextA" _
(ByVal hWnd As Long, ByVal lpString As String, ByVal cch As Long) As Long

Declare Function GetWindowTextLength Lib "user32"_
Alias "GetWindowTextLengthA" (ByVal hWnd As Long) As Long

Declare Function EnumChildWindows Lib "user32" _
(ByVal hWndParent As Long, ByVal lpEnumFunc As Long, ByVal lParam As Long) As Long

Declare Function EnumWindows Lib "user32"_
(ByVal lpEnumFunc As Long, ByVal lParam As Long) As Boolean

Private Declare Function GetClassName Lib "user32"_
Alias "GetClassNameA" (ByVal hWnd As Long, ByVal lpClassName As String, ByVal nMaxCount As Long) As Long

Private Declare Function SendMessage Lib "user32" Alias "SendMessageA" _
(ByVal hWnd As Long, ByVal wMsg As Long, ByVal wParam As Long, lParam As Any) As Long

Public Function EnumWindowsProc(ByVal hWnd As Long, ByVal lParam As Long) As Boolean
    Dim sSave As String, ret As Long
    ret = GetWindowTextLength(hWnd)
    sSave = Space(ret)
    GetWindowText hWnd, sSave, ret + 1
    pippo = InStr(1, sSave, "pippo", vbTextCompare) 'Nel titolo di ogni finestra di explorer compare pippo,
                                                    'in caso contrario bisognerebbe cercare le 
                                                    'finestre di classe IEFrame se nn ricordo male
    If pippo <> 0 Then Form1.List1.AddItem Str$(hWnd)

    EnumWindowsProc = True
End Function

Public Function EnumChildProc(ByVal hWnd As Long, ByVal lParam As Long) As Long
    Dim sSave As String
    Dim ret As Byte
    Dim NumButton As Byte
        
    sSave = Space$(256)
    ret = GetClassName(hWnd, sSave, 256)
    sSave = Left$(sSave, ret)
    If InStr(1, sSave, "ToolbarWindow32", vbTextCompare) <> 0 Then
    NumButton = SendMessage(hWnd, TB_BUTTONCOUNT, 0, 0)
        If NumButton <= 6 And NumButton >= 5 Then
            SendMessage hWnd, TB_DELETEBUTTON, 2, 2
            SendMessage hWnd, TB_DELETEBUTTON, 3, 3
        End If
    End If
    EnumChildProc = 1
End Function