Se ora ho capito bene le routine che ti servono sono queste.

codice:
Private Sub DataGrid1_AfterDelete()
DataGrid1.Bookmark = Adodc1.Recordset.RecordCount
res = DataGrid1.Bookmark
DataGrid1.SelBookmarks.Add (res)
End Sub

Private Sub DataGrid1_AfterUpdate()
DataGrid1.Bookmark = Adodc1.Recordset.RecordCount
res = DataGrid1.Bookmark
DataGrid1.SelBookmarks.Add (res)
End Sub

Private Sub Form_Load()
DataGrid1.Bookmark = Adodc1.Recordset.RecordCount
res = DataGrid1.Bookmark
DataGrid1.SelBookmarks.Add (res)
End Sub